Tag Archives: Texas

Lines Written a Few Feet Away from My Television As and After I Flipped Through College Football Games – My Alabama Bias Is Part of the Mix

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Every fan should invest in a laminator.

– Florida’s in trouble. They’re coach is on a short leash and they’ve got a four game stretch later this season of Georgia followed by Texas, LSU, and Ole Miss. Whatever momentum could have been gained in these early games was needed to face a month where LSU might be the easiest match up. They lost to Miami by an unredeemable amount today. There’s no silver lining and there’s no rose colored glasses or funny accents that make their future seem any less dire than it looks to me.

They’ll get a win against Samford and maybe FSU. Their four sequential games above are all losses. Texas A&M is probably a loss. Ditto Tennessee. UCF, MSU, and KY are all toss ups. I’ll be impressed if they get five wins. They could go 1-11. Meanwhile, their biology and chemistry departments continue to impress and my assessment of the football team in no way has bearing on my regard of the university as an excellent and praiseworthy center of learning and innovation; something to keep in mind when reviewing my son’s application.

Napier seems like a nice guy, but he was trouble with fans and boosters coming into the season after two seven loss years. I’m betting he doesn’t last the semester.

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Chili with Szechuan Pepper

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[This entry is cross posted at ordinary-times.com]

All of this is true.

I don’t live in Austin. I don’t live in San Antonio, Houston, El Paso, or Amarillo. I don’t even live in Texas. In fact, I hate the Dallas Cowboys in that sports sense of hate where I’m sure they’re a bunch of good guys but want them to fail miserably at their job and still snicker over their veteran heavy team getting beaten by a bunch of Redskin scabs back in ’87. Otherwise, I love the place. I’ve been to the Lone Star State three times so far and have yet to meet a Texan I didn’t like.

I had chili in Austin, sort of. There was a fenced-in area with food trucks and a sultry twenty-something woman who was barely wearing any clothes. My then eight-year-old asked her if he could pet her dog several times. I was there for chili because that is, to an outsider, the mythopoetic foodstuff of the town. I’m still not sure if Austin chili is all they say because I was told I had to have it the local way, which I’m pretty sure meant the hipster way. I had Frito Pie, which means I had a bag of Fritos with some chili poured in and shredded cheddar sprinkled on top. It was great, but between the chips and cheese I couldn’t tell you what was distinctive about the chili. I’d rather have had it unadulterated.

If my travels and Guy Fieri have taught me anything it’s that Texans think they know chili, but really the state is populated by ribbon whores. Everyplace with a health department score and a chalk board is home to award winning best in the state county fair champion three years running five alarm homemade as seen on tv (television) genuine original Texas chili. Everybody gets a trophy in this culinary little league.

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