
[This entry is cross posted at ordinary-times.com]
You’re still at work? What do you think you’re getting done between now and quitting time? Cut out and stop pretending. Take a POETS Day. Piss Off Early, Tomorrow’s Saturday.
First, a little verse.
***
Mark Twain delivered this devastating comeback at a cocktail party when… or maybe it was Noel Coward. I can’t remember. It was one of those clever people back when memorable mots were bon and got traded around. If it was Churchill who said it, he would have been talking to Lady Astor. Gore Vidal or William F. Buckley? I suppose it could have been Dick Cavett, but he’s more contemporary. The jab’s too clever for anyone who was on TV and by the time Cavett made the scene, Mid-Atlantic was out of style and this is too pointed to have been said in anything but an English or Mid-Atlantic accent. Maybe it was one of those New Yorkers who wrote for the New Yorker? One of the Gertrude Steins? My friend’s great grandmother who shared an apartment with Amelia Earhart and was friends with Zoe Fitzgerald swears Lindbergh said it to Babe Ruth, but that Lindy was cribbing from something he heard Coolidge say to Chaplin.
There’s a genre of witticisms attributed to a cloud of dead eminences. “If you were my wife, I’d drink it,” “What can you hope but to be sunk in a bigger, more expensive ship,” and “In the morning I shall be sober, but you…” I’m pretty sure all of those are Churchill, but you know the flavor. I figured this was a recent phenomenon looking back on a fuzzy past, coinciding with declining standards and kids spending all their allowance on detective comics and the talkies. Know nothings like me from the age of Dumb and Dumber* hear something witty from the past through a telephone game of conversations and magazine articles, pick up bits, remember less, and are never so rude to challenge or verify chit-chat. We grapevine-didacts know, but don’t know. But it isn’t a recent phenomenon, at least not very recent.
Continue reading








