[This entry is cross posted at ordinary-times.com]

A: On the wall of the shop was a piece of paper, and at the top it said “NOTICE TO ALL CUSTOMERS.”
B: What did it say?
A: It said: “All revolutionary comrades who come in the revolutionary door of this revolutionary photography shop, before asking any revolutionary question, must first call out a revolutionary slogan. If any of the revolutionary masses do not call out a revolutionary slogan, then the revolutionary shopkeeper will take a revolutionary attitude and refuse to give a revolutionary response. Revolutionarily yours, the revolutionary management.”
B: Really “revolutionary”, all right. It was like that in those days. As soon as you went into the shop it went like this: “Serve the People!” Comrade, I’d like to ask a question.
A: “Struggle Against Selfishness and Criticize Revisionism!” Go ahead.
B: [to the audience] Well, at least he didn’t ignore me. [Back in character] “Destroy Capitalism and Elevate the Proletariat!” I’d like to have my picture taken.
A: “Do Away with the Private and Establish the Public!” What size?
B: “The Revolution is Without Fault!” A three-inch photo.
A: “Rebellion is Justified!” Okay, please give me the money.
B: “Politics First and Foremost!” How much?
A: “Strive for Immediate Results!” One yuan three mao.
B: “Criticize Reactionary Authorities!” Here’s the money.
A: “Oppose Rule by Money!” Here’s your receipt.
B: “Sweep Away Class Enemies of All Kinds!” Thank you.

That’s a from a bit of xiangsheng written by Jiang Kun called “How to Take a Photograph.” Xiangsheng is a form of Chinese comedy theater that, as far as I can tell, is an Eastern cousin of the straight man/comic skits of the Abbott and Costello style vaudeville acts. I was looking for a sketch by Wu Zhaonan but couldn’t find a transcript or video of his act anywhere. His DVDs are for sale and pretty easy to find, but if you just wanted to see a clip to get an idea of what he did, you’re out of luck. Where’s all that Chinese entertainment piracy floated all about the black market when you need it?