Author Archives: Ben

POETS Day! Henry Vaughan and The Yellow King

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[This entry is cross posted at ordinary-times.com]

I started watching True Detective on Max a few weeks ago. I remember reading about the show when it came out in 2014. It was supposed to have all manner of Easter eggs from supernatural horror works. One article made a big deal about references to The King in Yellow by Robert Chambers so I bought that book as a $0.99 Kindle download and promptly forgot about it. I read that Chambers was a big influence on Lovecraft whose complete works I had downloaded for a buck or two some long time before and never read, but I’ve read all the Sandman comics and played a lot of Dungeons & Dragons so at the very least something influenced by the same authors who were influences on the authors of some other stuff I liked was the sort of thing I was interested in being interested in. I promptly forgot about the show.

A Lincoln commercial with Matthew McConaughey aired during College Gameday a few weeks ago and I had an “Oh, Yeah!” moment. It was worth the wait. McConaughey and Harrelson are really good, delivering lines that could have gone off the rails if played wrong. There was one moment where Harrelson’s character watched a gruesome video of a crime and awkwardly has to shout “No!” It didn’t work, didn’t fit the character, and broke what should have been a pivotal moment, but I’m not sure what else he could have done with the line as written. In fact, it highlighted what a hard job the two leads had.

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POETS Day! Fourteeners

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[This entry is cross posted at ordinary-times.com]

I was talking about the POETS Day, “Piss Off Early, Tomorrow’s Saturday,” ethos with somebody the other day and she brought up the French and their four-day thirty-five-hour work week as aspirational for the movement. I’m not certain the French four-day work week exists even in the tiny corners of their economy where I suspect it would make its home.

Between headlines about French youth rioting because they won’t get to retire at forty-whatever there are conflicting accounts of what constitutes a job over there. Forbes tells us “France famously has a legally mandated 35-hour work week, enshrined in law since 2000,” but in the Snippets of Paris article “France’s famous Myth: the 35-hour French Work Week” (parsing the capitalization decisions in that headline will keep me up for days) we’re asked “Think the French only work 35 hours a week? Perhaps the French are just not good at keeping track of their hours.”

Whether they do, whether they don’t is unimportant. My well-meaning friend misses the point of POETS Day. It’s not about accumulating time off. It’s about enjoying something illicit.

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The New New The New Criterion Is Here

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I just got my October issue of The New Criterion. The magazine usually comes right before the beginning of the listed month, but this go round it didn’t. September passed and each October day as my wife and I ended our walk with a mailbox check I’ve made the same stupid semi-joke wondering if my “trending towards old Criterion” had arrived.

I’m not sure if the one I got today is the one I was wondering about. If you don’t get your copy, or if your copy is damaged, they have a number you can call “within 90 days of issue date for a replacement copy.” I only called two days ago and they told me to allow one to two weeks for delivery so this may be a lickity-quick replacement or a foot dragging original. Either way, I have another copy out there.

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POETS Day! Emily Dickinson, The Myth [Updated!]

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[This entry is cross posted at ordinary-times.com]

Baseball is over for the year. They’re still playing games, but don’t let that fool you. In a particularly cruel twist of plot the Orioles went down in three straight after coaxing long suffering fans into a state of disarmed expectation. Was it better than the old days where we would enjoy a few games at the beginning of the season but tinge that enjoyment with guarded detachment expecting we’d be mathematically eliminated from the postseason by the end of April?

At least knowing meant a stress-free summer. This year was hectic. I had to check standings a lot. Did you know there’s a team called The Devil Rays?

I guess you can call a POETS Day. I don’t know what you’ll do, though. Disillusioned baseball fan grousing period length is dictated by local custom but outside of the Pacific Northwest it’s at least a week so you’ll probably just lay around and eat Wheat Thins. Give it a shot if you want. Get out of work and try jumpstarting the weekend. Piss Off Early, Tomorrow’s Saturday, but you can sit around and do nothing at work too.

I don’t care. Either way, try reading a little verse. It can make things better or worse, depending on what you pick. A vector is a vector.

Also, I told you so.

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POETS Day! On James Joyce’s Ulysses with a Few Poems Thrown In

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[This entry is cross posted at ordinary-times.com]

It’s POETS Day. That may be hard to remember with all the pretender days clamoring for your attention. It’s Garlic Lover’s Day today. That gets my attention. American Libraries Day too. Ecological Debt Day certainly gets my attention. The people I’m picturing “celebrating” that one don’t look like the people who would share public space with the World Smile Day, also today, celebrants.

I play Metatron for a friend’s pizza place on its Twitter account. I started out with “Free 8” 2-topping to the first person that retweets this – offer ends at 2pm, redeemable today at lunch only.” That gets boring quickly so I started throwing out bad jokes (Q: What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle’s back? A: Wheeeeeeeee!) and non sequiturs. I tried calling attention to pizza themed celebration days. Good Lord was that a mistake. There’s National Pizza Day (Feb 9), National Pepperoni Pizza Day (Sept 20), and a chorus of others vying for attention. I feel bad for National Sausage Pizza Day (Oct 11). It doesn’t get what I assume is the attention its founders envisioned buried as it is in National Pizza Month. PizzaToday.com put out an article titled “10 Can’t Miss Pizza Holidays,” the sinister unspoken being that there are more than 10 Pizza Holidays.

As a society we need to take a stand. Enough with all these non-official acronym-less holidays. I’m not sure how to get rid of all the chaff, but I do know that there’s a full afternoon to clear your mind and think about necessary calendar decluttering if you’re willing to grab it. Piss Off Early, Tomorrow’s Saturday.

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Rigatoni Capricciosi

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[This entry is cross posted at ordinary-times.com]

I have Rosetta Stone, so I know a few things.

My new favorite restaurant is a place downtown called Lé Fresca in the just-above-water cool 2nd Avenue North corridor that used to be a choosers paradise of wig and discount furniture shops. Now it’s restaurants and lofts but the Uber shift has convinced business owners that parking is no longer a concern, likely making the one valet stand the most profitable enterprise in the district. Members of the one, true, holy, and apostolic church who are visually recognizable to clergy can park in the church lot but for everyone else finding a spot is an exercise in faith.

One of the few things I know is that “le” is the feminine plural definite article in Italian. The plural ending construct, for lack of a better term, of most feminine nouns, at least those covered by Rosetta Stone through Week 5, Day 3 is to replace the final letter “a” with an “e” unless the final letter is already an “e.” In that case you leave it “e.” So a feminine noun, say “la donna,” becomes plural by changing the “a” in “le” and the “a” in “donna” to “e” so you get “le donne”: the women.

Having been initiated into the mysteries I couldn’t help but notice that “Lé Fresca” seems to have gone rogue. By my reckoning it should have been either “Le Fresce” or “La Fresca.” According to the owner, it’s slang.

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POETS Day! C.S. Lewis

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[This entry is cross posted at ordinary-times.com]

Not everybody’s taking a POETS Day this week. Senator Bob Menendez ([REDACTED]-NJ) was charged last Friday with “corruption-related charges for the second time in ten years.” This time’s better. There are gold bars. Cash was stuffed in closeted pockets of “Senator Menendez” embroidered jackets. Nothing this gloriously cinematic/made-for-tv has been reported since Tammy Faye Bakker shot Joey Buttafouco on boat called “Risky Business” when he returned the sunglasses Jon Bennet threw out of a car window into a Virginia roadside field.

Obviously, the Hollywood writers agreed to whatever they had to within forty-eight hours of the Menendez script practically writing itself across the home pages of news organizations the world wide and ended their five-month long strike. They have boxes full of unfinished Marvel sequel drafts and rejected Law & Order screenplays to scour for liftable dialogue, repurpose-able fan fiction sex scenes to de-vampire, and girlfriends’ organic scented candles to product place.

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POETS Day! Laura Riding, Poet/Muse

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It’s tempting to try and grab a game on one of these last few Fridays left in the baseball season, but my advice is to hold on to that escape excuse. Put it in your back pocket and save it for the playoffs, especially if you’re a Baltimore fan. We don’t get to say “Orioles” and “playoffs” together very often. The birds are usually mathematically eliminated from the post season by the end of April.

This week’s plan to get an early go at the weekend should involve a claim to do something that would make your mother proud and then by saying you’re going to do it and not, make your mother cry.

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Fumigating with Coq au Vin

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When my friend died I got his copy of Coyote Café, a cookbook by Mark Miller. There was a memorial gathering at a bar on the riverfront in Savannah, Georgia thrown together by few of his ex-girlfriends. Some of his stuff – cds, books, a bike helmet, etc. – was laid out on tables for people to pick up and take home as mementos.

He, my wife, and I were practically roommates for a spell. At the cusp of the century swap, we had the upper left apartment of a fourplex and he had the upper right. We still courtesy knocked, but if my wife was studying and Jeffrey, the friend, was out somewhere I’d still go over to his place if I wanted to watch TV (television) or listen to music. The best part of this communal arrangement was that Jeffery was a chef. We ate well. Very well. And he didn’t just feed us. He taught us all manner of things about food stuffs and ways to make them hot.

I don’t think he taught us anything out of Coyote Café. I picked it because the spine was sun-bleached; it was something that he’d had for a while. The Coyote Café restaurant is in New Mexico and I figured he picked the book up when he was running a kitchen in Arizona. It felt like something that made moves with him. Looking at it now, I don’t think he used it much. He was a sloppy cook at home. He was the opposite when working, but at home things got splashed around and dripped on. The pages are pristine. More than likely, the book didn’t get left.

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POETS Day! A Few from Hart Crane

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[This entry is cross posted at ordinary-times.com]

I have COVID again. This is the third year this has happened. By now I should be like James Matthew Wilson’s ill in “On Being Ill”, “marking down its savor / With such alacrity for shades of difference / That no one else can see or listen to.” This is the first time I’ve had symptoms though, so other than a binary, I have no comparisons between variants.

The thing is, I’m not certain all my symptoms are from COVID. In 2022 I tested positive at least eight times between early July and late September. I tested the first time because someone near me was sick. Once the prescribed avoidance ran its course I tested again as part of a doctor’s office access regimen. Three positive tests within two weeks after that, it became a parlor game. Two doctors had since told me to ignore the tests and declared me interactable. Throughout, I never had so much as a sniffle.

But sniffles still exist. I mean independent sniffles. Sore throats without pedigrees. They exist too. Non-COVID coughs and fevers, achy joints, and headaches from the ether were commonplace before most had heard of Wuhan. This time I tested because I thought our rosemary plant was defective. This was on top of a cough and a sore throat. The loss of smell isn’t complete. It’s like my range is narrowed. I can smell the humdrum, but if something carries a strong odor, say a sprig of rosemary, it’s gone. It’s not faint. It doesn’t exist for me.

POETS Day isn’t as exciting when you’re sick. Piss Off Early, Tomorrow’s Saturday for thee, but not for me. There’s nothing transgressive about following medical guidelines, no matter how capricious. Killjoys told us masturbation was natural, normal, and healthy. The Kinsey Report robbed people of delicious and discrete kinks by turning them into statistical norms overnight. Missing work is still okay, but it’s better when you’re getting away with something.

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