[This entry is cross posted at ordinary-times.com]

It’s POETS Day. That may be hard to remember with all the pretender days clamoring for your attention. It’s Garlic Lover’s Day today. That gets my attention. American Libraries Day too. Ecological Debt Day certainly gets my attention. The people I’m picturing “celebrating” that one don’t look like the people who would share public space with the World Smile Day, also today, celebrants.

I play Metatron for a friend’s pizza place on its Twitter account. I started out with “Free 8” 2-topping to the first person that retweets this – offer ends at 2pm, redeemable today at lunch only.” That gets boring quickly so I started throwing out bad jokes (Q: What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle’s back? A: Wheeeeeeeee!) and non sequiturs. I tried calling attention to pizza themed celebration days. Good Lord was that a mistake. There’s National Pizza Day (Feb 9), National Pepperoni Pizza Day (Sept 20), and a chorus of others vying for attention. I feel bad for National Sausage Pizza Day (Oct 11). It doesn’t get what I assume is the attention its founders envisioned buried as it is in National Pizza Month. PizzaToday.com put out an article titled “10 Can’t Miss Pizza Holidays,” the sinister unspoken being that there are more than 10 Pizza Holidays.

As a society we need to take a stand. Enough with all these non-official acronym-less holidays. I’m not sure how to get rid of all the chaff, but I do know that there’s a full afternoon to clear your mind and think about necessary calendar decluttering if you’re willing to grab it. Piss Off Early, Tomorrow’s Saturday.