[This entry is cross posted at ordinary-times.com]

David Letterman used to talk about windchill factor. A former weatherman, he thought it was goofy that a cold temperature was announced and then amended accounting for windchill making it the equivalent of a colder measurement rather than just saying the final, adjusted temperature. He’d call windchill fake but quickly add “Now humidity. That’s real.”

I’m with him. Humidity alone isn’t that bad. I don’t think I’ve ever complained about it in the winter. It needs heat to angry it up, but once you get those droplets riled the air’s venomous.

My phone reports the day’s temperature with a “Feels like” when it’s humid too, but that’s wrong. Completely wrong. Humidity isn’t an aspect of heat and doesn’t express as an increase of it. Saying “It’s 92° but with 70% humidity it feels like 103°,” assumes a flow towards equilibrium that’s not there. It would be more apt to say “It’s 92° but with 70% humidity it feels like 92° and you just dropped a cast iron skillet on your foot.” Humidity’s a separate and more immediate discomfort. In freeze-dried lasagna lore a frog in a pot of water over high heat doesn’t notice the slowly increasing temperature and keeps swimming about until he boils. Boils, not drowns. No one would believe the cautionary tale if he doesn’t go up for air. When you’re surrounded by water, heat is secondary.